Is it Your Time?

One of my favorite Scriptures is Habakkuk 2:2-3, which says, "Write the vision and engrave it plainly upon tablets, so that everyone who passes may read as he hastens by. For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait for it, because, for it will surely come; it will not be behind on its appointed day."

I have been dreaming of singing (and writing) professionally for many, many years...and yes, I have written it on paper and posted it on my wall at times! I've spent a large portion of my life with these gifts stirring up my heart. All my life, every time I attend a concert, I want to be up on the stage singing my heart out...not sitting in the audience. I leave every single show with a restlessness in my heart. An unfulfilled desire.

For the past couple of years, the Lord has been leading me on what I consider a pretty wild ride with my music. I probably haven't seen anything just yet, though.

This year, though, it seems He is opening some even larger doors - the kind that I thought I would only dream of (from a distance) in my lifetime. Now, I am approaching some of those doors and I am "tripping out" emotionally (inside) over what this all means. I'm so grateful that Jesus is a wonderful counselor (Isaiah 9:6) so I can discuss all these thoughts, feelings, and anxieties in depth with Him.

What it boils down to is that I feel incredibly undeserving of living out my dreams. Because of His light shining in and on my life, I can see how jacked up and cracked up I really am and how desperately I need His grace throughout each and every day. And so, I find myself questioning why I would even have the slightest opportunity to live out my dreams. The fulfillment of dreams is only for perfect people who have it all together, right?!?!?

On my walk today, I felt Him speak to my spirit. He said, "Angi, you're a work-in-progress. You always will be. If I wait another year (or longer) to open these doors for you, you will still be a work-in-progress, just with different issues and struggles then. Likewise, if I had created these opportunities for you a year ago (or earlier than that), you were still imperfect and undeserving at that time for other reasons. It is not about you; it is about My grace and My timing."

Wow. That amazing grace thing is really difficult to comprehend. He also reminded me today of Isaiah 64:6, which says that even our righteous acts are like filthy rags in His eyes. So, even if I "thought" I was deserving and had it together, I would still be terribly wrong.

I'm learning to not only be excited about the new doors He opens, but to go through them while I leave the results in His hands. It's not easy, but that's because I'm nothing more than a work-in-progress.

Is it your time to make a major move toward your destiny? In the words of Nike, just do it!!